Stockholm Syndrome
by Tihany
Summary: When Light forces L into a romantic relationship, how will L react? LightxL Rated M for eventual sex. Complete.
1. 1 Pride

Stockholm Syndrome

AliMcG1492

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. There would be much more L if I did.

Only compliant until . . . some episode somewhere. BEFORE L DIES! (HA HA, spoilers. :P)

**Chapter One: Pride**

"I am Kira."

With those words, L instantly regretted agreeing to talk with Light in private. He had hoped against all hope that Light wasn't Kira. But now, it just figures that L's first friend would be the criminal that he was chasing. Suddenly, L started to see the cards in his favour. "What did you go and spill your cover for? You know that all I need to do is press a button, say a word and you'll be in jail, right?" L was proud to say that he wasn't scared even one bit. There was no way that Light could have found his name. It wasn't on record anywhere.

And then his luck ran out.

"But I know your name. Remember the second Kira? She doesn't need a name to kill. She's met you, and can see your name floating above your head, in big red letters. And I know it. She practically worships me. She wouldn't lie to her knight in shining armour, would she? So now, it's your one press of a button or shout against my thought. Who do you think will win?" Light advanced on L, cornering him against a wall and leaning an arm against the dark green wallpaper. Sure, it would take a little more than a thought to kill L, but he didn't know that.

"You're bluffing. You couldn't possibly know my name." L felt his resolve slipping farther and farther away, and his knees started getting weak, making his legs shake almost inperceptably.

"Lawliet." One word had never made L feel so nauseous, so terrified in all his life. He was really going to die here, wasn't he? Maybe he could placate Light. . . but then again, Kira was someone who could and would kill anyone without a second thought. Especially if they got in the way of his idea of justice. And that was just what L had tried to make a habit of doing. Getting in the way was his specialty. Funny that it would catch up in this manner.

"Well then?" L cursed his legs for shaking, hoping that his voice would stay level. "Aren't you going to kill me? If it only takes a thought, shouldn't I be dead by now? And why bother telling me anyway? You could have just killed me without a word." Once he said it, L knew why Light had revealed himself because that meant that L would know he'd lost. Kira had one-upped him and now he was going to die. How miserable.

"I don't want to kill you," Light said as he smirked. L was unsure if he wanted to cry with relief or call out in confusion. Everything he knew about Kira said that L shouldn't even be alive by now.

"Why wouldn't you want to kill me? I've done nothing but try and reveal your identity, foil your plans, and put you behind bars. You've proven that you'd kill for less than that! So why not kill me?" So, maybe arguing for Kira to kill him wasn't such a good idea, but the detective in him needed to know why Kira just suddenly had a strange change of heart. This decision was completely unprecedented.

"I have a job for you. An easy job that shouldn't be too much trouble for you." Light's smile widened and he leaned closer, menacingly.

"What job would I do for you? I'd rather die than aid in another plot of yours." L spat in Light's face.

Light chuckled softly, wiping the saliva from his cheek with his free hand. "But it isn't just another plot for world peace or the destruction of crimnals. That's really the last thing on my mind. You see, I enjoy your company, and I honestly don't want to do without it. Tha'ts the first reason why I'm not killing you. The second is that I need someone to stand beside me when I rule my perfect world. Just my shinigami is too lonely. You and I are perfect foils to one another. You would make a great companion. Third, these past few weeks working with you have made me realize something. Something important about myself. I want you to be my lover." Light said this all so smoothly that L was unsure that he had heard correctly. Light couldn't honestly believe that L would go through with this, could he? Then again, he had pulled the "I'm Kira and I know your name" card. But if he hadn't told L that he was Kira, would he have gone along with it? L took a while to think about it, unsure of what the thoughts running through his mind meant. The whole time he was lost in thought, his eyes hadn't left Lights, searching for the jest, for the sick humour that he vainly hoped would be there.

"You . . . you're joking right? I can't believe you would play a prank about something like this. It's crazy. . ." L looked away, focusing on a very uninteresting crack in the floor by his feet.

"Lawliet, do I look someone that jokes around? I am completely serious. If you like, I could kill someone right now, to prove that I'm the one. I know the names of every detective in the other room. I could kill one of them. Would that be proof enough for you?" Light continued to move closer to L's face until he was a mere three centimeters from brushing his nose. So, are you going to comply? You have your choices. Pick one."

L was shaking violently now, terrified of what Light would do. Contrary to what he often said, and what he wanted to believe, he was horrified of dying. Sometimes it was what kept him up at night. He could almost feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, but willed them away. Nothing about this situation was rational, and logic had seemed to abandon the two. They were in a world of their own, one that L desperately wanted to escape from.

Light waited patiently as L fought between the instinct of self preservation and his pride as a detective. Detectives just didn't become lovers with suspects, or criminals. But it couldn't really be that bad, could it? He would have probably agreed to the relationship if Light wasn't Kira. This time, a tear managed to escape his tightly shut eyes.

Pride doesn't count for much if you're dead.

* * *

Three days later

"I believe that we are farther from finding Kira than ever before, as most of our leads have been proven wrong at the moment. Mr. Yagami, I apologize for suspecting your son. He has been completely cleared. I no longer have reason for suspicion." L cringed on the inside as he said this, bile moving up to the back of his throat. He swallowed a large piece of the chocolate cake in front of him to keep the vomit from going any further. Kira had let up on the heart attacks, leaving only one or two here and there. It wasn't worth investigating anymore, but L wasn't going to give up just yet. He was hoping that, with subtle hints, the rest of the gang or at least Watari would get what was going on. Light had yet to express a desire to make their "relationship" known, so L was very wary of the subject.

His announcement was met with sighs and a few slams of cups/fists. "Why is he suddenly letting up now? He's shown that he only wants to thwart the justice system several times, and his numbers until now have only been rising. Why lower them now?" Mr. Yagami, though he was relieved that his son was in the clear, was thoroughly confused and upset at how Kira had gotten away once again.

"Now, Mr. Yagami, this doesn't mean that we've lost. We've just had a little setback. Perhaps Kira is just trying to lull us into a false sense of security, so that, when we think he's gone for good, he'll kill hundreds at once. We'd be overwhelmed. But we won't let him do that. We'll continue looking for him, interrogating whitnesses, looking for suspects and narrowing down possibilities. We cannot let ourselves get lazy here. That's all. Excuse me, I'm going to help Light sort the information. Please do not disturb us, we need to concentrate on nothing but the facts and research.." L stood slowly, dreading what he would find in the room where he was headed. Light hadn't been present at the meeting because he had been "sorting information" for a while now, in the room where L was going now.

"You did well," Light purred. L sneered in the teen's direction, bitter that he had given in. Light extended a hand from the couch where he was sitting, all of their research in front of him. L locked the door, horrified that someone would enter. He walked over, stalling for as much time as he possibly could. Light was patient, letting L take his time, knowing that he would end up in his grasp eventually. It took a full minute and a half before L was within grabbing distance, and Light did just that, pulling L into his lap. It took all of L's resolve to keep from punching Light, or elbowing him where it counted, but he did spare himself a piercing glare and a seething insult.

"You are disgusting." Light only smiled as if he were receiving the highest of praise. He let his hands stray over L's body, slipping them under his loose white shirt and sliding them along L's too thin abdomin. L couldn't stifle his gasp, but in his defense, Light's hands were very cold. L had never been in a romantic relationship before this. Hell, he'd never even had friends, and now he was forced into a role comparable to a sex slave. Of course, sex hadn't quite become a factor yet, but there was no telling when it would. Light was definitely not too shy to make his desires known.

L held his breath when Light started to bite and suck on his neck, but was unable to keep it in when Light coupled the hicky with brushes and quick tugs on his nipples. L didn't know how to handle the burning feeling in his belly, but he knew that it was most definitely not something he should be feeling in this situation. Light was forcing him into a romantic relationship; L was _not_ supposed to enjoy it. _Curse being male,_ he thought to himself, _it makes this so difficult and confusing._ L was embarassed to find that his body was reacting in other ways to Lights ministrations, and he closed his eyes, turning his face away from the Light's head. He wanted to scream in denial when Light's hand left his chest and wandered meaningfully down passed his belly button, fingers slipping slowly into the loose fabric of L's baggy pants. Much to L's relief, his hand stopped there, toying with the wasteband of his boxers. Light bit down hard on the skin of L's neck, making the other call out in strangled pain and, guiltily, pleasure.

With a gentle pull on L's hip and a push on his shoulder, Light let his "partner" know that he wanted him to turn around. L hated that any of this act was done by himself without direct coersion, but maneuvered himself into the desired position. Straddling a criminal was utterly uncomfortable, but since said criminal was on that L had hoped could be a friend, well, it was just that much more uncomfortably awkward.

Light had pulled his hand from L's pants, sliding it back up L's front and to his neck, gripping his chin with sudden strength. L knew what was coming next, and he dreaded it. Light brought L's face closer to his own, smiling at the look of utter contempt on L's face. In moments, Light covered L's lips with his, tugging and biting at his lower lip. It took a few tries, since L was being very stubborn, but Light finally got L to open his mouth and slipped his tongue into the resisting mouth.

L hated it when Light tried to make the situation intimate. He felt that he could have detached his mind from his body if it had simply been distant sex, but when Light tried to make things deeper, with gentle kisses and cheesy lines, it just hit L all that much harder.

It wasn't that long ago that L had decided that, were Light not Kira, and he'd asked the same of L, he would have relented. It had become an undeniable fact that L was in love with Light, and these actions on Light's part just made L heartbroken. He knew that Light was a criminal, and he was a detective. It was one of those pathetic plotlines for silly little romance novels. And here he was, whistfully wishing it hadn't ended up that way.

* * *

A/N: Sooo, what did you think? This was originally two chapters, but I decided to combine them both, since it was so short, and it bothered me. I have no idea how long this fic will be, but I hope it exceeds three chapters. n_n' I originally planned on having seven to eight short chapters, but it'll probably just be four or five longer ones. Yay! Honestly, I don't like reading fanfics that have really short chapters, because it just feels like it ends too soon. *sigh*.

I hope I kept everyone in character, though only three of the characters got any lines. XD L is the one I'm the most worried about. I wanted to make him stubborn, but unconsiously relenting as well, since I made him have previously established feelings for Light. I want Ryuk to make an appearance in the next chapter, but I don't know how that'll turn out.

This was the second fanfic that I started in a challenge with my friend. We're going to see who can write the most words tonight, so you'll probably get the most of this fic before Sunday, and it may well be finshed before Monday. Aren't you happy?


	2. 2 Unfair

Chapter Two: Unfair

This one probably won't have any lemons in it. Sorry, I'm not in much of a fruity mood at the moment. :| Maybe in the next chapter.

ENJOY!

It had been a week. An entire week, and L couldn't believe how fate was torturing him. Well, actually it was Light who was torturing him, but it sucked either way. L was so confused. He just couldn't figure out what the hell he wanted. He hated the fact that the first friend he found was a killer, he hated that said "friend" had forced him into a romantic relationship, and worst of all, he hated that, deep in his gut, he enjoyed it. Things hadn't gotten as far as sex yet, and L's stupid body was very unhappy with this turn of events. His mind was always trying to figure out ways to escape this sick game, but his body thwarted every plan. Light would constantly pull L into situations where they would make out and sometimes Light would go as far as forplay, but never beyond. L knew what Light was doing, and it was painfully obvious that it was working. Light was convincing L that he wanted this, that he wanted the sex. And he wouldn't deny it, he did. But he would never admit it to Light. That would be losing, and that just wasn't what L did.

They were in another one of those instances where Light was caressing his body in sinful ways, stroking the inside of his mouth with his skilled tongue. L was afraid that, if this kept up, he just might end up really falling, and falling hard, for Light, for Kira. Light let his hands stray to the waist of L's worn out jeans, playing with it, moving farther down to grope L's ass. His other hand was tangled in the mess of black hair on L's head, keeping their lips locked in an open mouthed kiss.

L could feel the heat in his belly, and he welcomed it and cursed it at the same time. It was right about now that Light would pull away and end their session. And the rational part of L's brain said that it was a good thing. But there was still that irrational part that wanted Light to keep going. Maybe it was that childlike desire to have your love requited, even in such a circumstance.

Then, just as predicted, Light let out a breath lazily and pulled L away by his hair. L winced with the unexpected pain, but stood and backed away. Light stood as well, turning to leave the room. For one delerious second, L almost stopped him, but caught himself before he so much as moved. He let Light leave the bedroom of the private suite, slowly making his way to the bed. Once he heard the door to the suite close, L let himself fall to the king sized bed, sprawled out with his legs hanging over the sides. This needed to end, and soon.

At Light's house

Ryuk just couldn't understand what was going on with Light lately. He just wasn't acting like he usually was. To be honest, he kind of missed the bloodthirsty "god" of justice. This Light was weird, and not very fun to watch. Not two weeks ago, Light had gotten L's name from Misa. Originally, he had sat at his desk for days, trying to figure out the best way of doing away with his enemy. However, exactly one week ago, things changed. Light stopped writing as many names in his Death Note, and spent more time tapping the lead of his pencil on the paper, obviously lost in thought. And now, here he was, in a one-sided relationship with the very person who's murder he had been contemplating not a week earlier. Ryuk was utterly confused and slightly horrified. Where was that Light he knew and loved? The Light that had put Shinigami to shame was no where in sight, and had been replaced with this backwards one.

"Oi, Light, just how far are you planning on taking this? Aren't people going to get suspicious eventually? Ever since you started this 'relationship' with the detective, you've been excused from suspicion, and Kira stops killing? This is probably your stupidest idea yet." Ryuk took another huge bite from his apple, still talking with his mouth full. "Why are you doing this anyway?"

"Ryuk, do you have so little confidence in me? I've never done anything stupid before, why would I start now? I have a plan, and it's going to be executed perfectly. Not only is this relationship great stress releif, it also sets L for a loop. He has no idea what to think about it, and that is my saving grace. This was the best tactic to lull him into confusion, and it worked beautifully. But I must admit, I didn't expect to enjoy it this much. L and I really do make a perfect pair." Light's eyes never left the Death Not in front of him. He was writing down names, but for months in advance, and all with causes of death. Only a few were left to heart attacks. Most were killed with accidents, or suicide. With Light's previous track record, it felt, to Ryuk, almost like sacrelige to that Death Note in particular.

"So, are you going to kill L in the end? Or are you really going to make him your companion? I feel kind of jealous . . ." Ryuk picked up his third apple and swallowed it all in one bite, failing to appear hurt at all.

"Ryuk, no one could ever replace you in my heart," Light deadpanned. He pushed the power button on his computer and turned to face Ryuk while he waited for it to boot up. "I just need a little human companionship." He punctuated it with a cheeky smile.

Ryuk just shook his head and turned away, pretending to sulk. Light laughed and swivled his chair back around to his computer. He was still smiling, thinking about what he would do next. His original plan had been to simply break L's spirit completely. Though the idea of having L as a lover forever, however forced, had become quite appealing. L's hesitation and sometimes outright refusal just made it all the more enjoyable. Light would never have described himself as a sadist before, but it sure was turning out that way. Not that he minded. He didn't mind at all.

Back at the suite, Watari's room

Something was definitely out of order. L seemed preocupied lately, but he refused to talk to Watari about it. It was a situation that Watari wasn't familiar with. Not only did L rarely have personal issues, he always got over them quickly. Not talking about it wasn't unheard of, but to last an entire week? And he had definitely let Light off the hook way too early in the game. If anything, Light should be under more suspicion now that Kira's killings were tapering down. Light was surely involved in whatever was bothering L, and it had something to do with Kira, no doubt.

But if L hadn't told him about it, then there must be something going on. Perhaps he had struck true and confronted Light about being Kira, but Light had something on L, his name perhaps? Then he had forced L into secrecy. It was plausable, and very well likely, but Watari was a detective He would hold out on a verdict until he had more to work with.

Over at Misa's House

"Rem, this fling that Light is having with L won't last, will it? He's telling the truth when he says that it's just to kill his spirit, right?" Misa was laying on her stomach on her bed, watching the television without seeing it.

"Would it make you sad if he were to stay with L? If he were in love with him?" Rem stood in the corner of the room, eager for an answer. Nothing that made Misa sad was worth keeping in the world.

"Well, if he's happy, that would make me happy. As long as I can stay by him, he doesn't have to love me. I've said that before . . . But I guess I would be a little sad. Like that kind of sad parents get when their kids leave home, you know?" Misa fiddled around with her hair, tugging it and twirling it around her fingers, now staring off into the distance.

Rem honestly had no idea what that felt like, but he assumed that it was a "good" kind of sad. Strange that they should exist.

Light got to live another day.

A/N: L and Light's names are so hard to keep straight sometimes. I can't tell you how many times I've written one in place of the other. XD

Anyway, I'm sorry for promising more chapters before today and failing to deliver. See, I'm horrible at staying up late, and I fell asleep at my computer table halfway through the second chapter. As you can guess, I lost the bet. TT_TT Oh well. I'll finish as much as I can today. I woke up early just for this. And I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I felt that it would be perfect to end it where I did. I liked that note. Not only that, this chapter was mainly just for explaining a little bit. We have what L thinks about the situation, what Ryuk thinks, and what Light thinks. We also have a little input from Misa and Watari. Misa won't play a very important role in this story, but she may appear here and there.

And thank you to the reviewers, and those of you who have added this story to your favourites and alerts, it really keeps me going! The next chapter should have action in it, *wiggles eyebrows*.

Quick note, does anyone here know someone who spells Light's name 'Raito'? It kind of bothers me. Nothing against them, but that's just the pronounciation that the Japanese people came up with because they can't say the name 'Light'. Not relevant to the story, just one of my pet peeves.


	3. 3 Do You Really Hate Me?

Well, here's chapter three. WARNING: This chapter DOES contain sex. Just so you know. And lots of Watari-L bonding time. :)

Chapter Three: Do You Hate Me?

Light tugged at L's shirt, pulling it over his head. He was already rid of his own shirt, so when he brought L's face close to his own, leading him into a deep kiss, their bare torsos were melded together. L had never enjoyed anything more in his life. Until a few moments later when Light undid his pants and slid them off, throwing them to join the growing pile of discarded garments. It wasn't long before both were derobed and Light was —

L rarely slept. And this was a good defense to his case. He sat there, on the couch in the bedroom of his suite, in a cold swet and cursing Light for all he was worth. L couldn't believe he'd just had a sexual dream about the murderer who was forcing himself on him. It just wasn't logical. L bit his thumb, chewing on the nail until it bled. He was shocked by the metallic taste, since he hadn't felt the skin break. He went to the restroom cabenet and grabbed the first aid kit. He couldn't find any of the hourglass shaped ones for the fingertips, so he settled for a regular one, put on at a weird angle. As he left the bathroom, he checked the clock. It was only two in the morning, so he'd only been asleep for a half an hour. Well, that was enough sleep to last him a few weeks. At least that meant that he wouldn't have another dream like that, hopefully ever.

L reached over for his laptop, always on the coffee table, and opened it. Like L himself, the computer was never turned off, it never even went into sleep mode. L was always awake, and always using it. Except for tonight. He'd nodded off this time, and so had his laptop.

Well, if he weren't such a strange person to begin with, he'd think that his laptop was a funny thing to bond with. But he was strange, and thus, thought it was completely normal. His tea had already gone cold, making L feel somewhat sad and dejected. He sighed and left his computer to make himself some more to drink. Unfortounately, he was horrible at making tea. He was only good at drinking it.

Ever thoughtless of other's need for sleep, L paged Watari, letting his needs for more tea and some strawberry cake be known. Watari was quite used to this, so it wasn't long before he was at L's door with the desired food and beverage. "Thank, you, Watari." He turned to renter his room.

"Wait, Ryuuzaki. Something is going on, and it seems to be bothering you." Watari's expression never changed, but L wanted to believe that it had sofened.

"How could you tell?" L had always prided himself on being able to hide his emotions, and no one else had noticed anything. Though none of them had known him as long as Watari had.

"You only ask for strawberry cake when you're depressed, or at a loss." L looked down at his cake, startled. He was so observant about other people, but it seemed that even some of his own habits had escaped his notice. Well, he supposed, that was why they were called habits. Suddenly he wished there weren't wire tapes and cameras in the hotel suite.

"Watari, are you tired?" It was a stupid question, yes, but a necessary one. L wanted to talk to Watari, but he couldn't do it here in the suite, and he couldn't just leave the hotel during the day without arousing suspicion with Light.

"No, Ryuuzaki, I've accustomed myself to your sleeping habits." (Or lack therof)

L smothered his tea with sugar and downed it quickly, dampening the burn with the strawberry cake. True to his nature, he wasn't just going to let his delicious cake and tea go to waste. Once he had finished, he reached for his coat. "I've heard that walking makes you feel less depressed, and gets endorphins going that make you feel better. Would you like to accompany me in this experiment?" He kept his voice even, making it sound as though it really was nothing more than an experiment. Watari understood and left the room for his coat.

The walk to the entrance was a very quiet one, since L wasn't good with small talk, and neither was Watari. They exited the building with minimal effort, both accustomed to the extensive scans. They were, after all, the ones who designed them. Ten minutes later, the two were out of the headquarters and walking the dark streets of Tokyo. It wasn't until they were a good fifty yards away from the building before L said a word. And when he did, he said his words very quietly and used only a few.

"Light is the culprit."

Watari didn't say anything, suspecting that L had more to say. That one statement couldn't have been bothering L so much, especially since he knew that L was riding on the suspicion that Light was Kira.

"He has me caught between a rock and a hard place." L sighed. "For the first time in my life, I'm at a loss. I can't tell you much, but I can't voice my findings to the group." L stopped walking and let out another, considerably louder sigh. "He has my name, Watari. He says he got it from the second Kira, but as many times as I go through my memory, I don't remember seeing anyone who seems even remotely suspectable of being the second Kira. Watari, I don't know what to do." There was a slight whine in his voice, expressing all of L's worries in a single tone. There was no one in view for at least twenty yards, and L's quiet voice made it positive that no one had heard his slip of Watari's name, but the slip itself was still shocking. For the first time, Watari saw just how terrified and worn out L was. He never needed sleep, but he knew that L had been sleeping earlier when he asked for more tea. L also never let things slip. The fact that both of these conditions were met meant that L was indeed, caught in a rough situation. Watari's mask never cracked, but he let L know that he understood by patting him on the shoulder.

"He has your name too. Which confuses me even more. I have no idea where he could have gotten it, nor do I remember you coming into contact with anyone I did outside of headquarters. That makes it seem like one of the task force members is the second Kira." L tilted his head. "But I know that's impossible. None of them are even remotely capable of putting up such a good front. . . " L trailed off, leaning against a streetlight. "I liked him. I liked him a lot." L was always painfully blunt, and this time was no different. "I tried not to let my emotions get in the way, but this whole time, while I've been hoping that he was Kira, just to prove my point, I've also been hoping that he wasn't, so that liking him like this wouln't be so . . . incriminating." He shoved his hands in his pockets in a nervous motion. "And I still like him. I don't know how to handle these emotions; I've never felt them before."

"You are still young." Watari smiled. "If your first love doesn't work out, you'll find another. You shouldn't let that get to you. But I see why you're at a loss. Are you sure he has our names, and isn't just bluffing about it?"

"He called me by name. And he told me yours."

"So he's using this against you to keep you from revealing that he is the culprit?" They had started walking once again, this time towards a nearby park. L hated the smell of grass and nature, but he needed something different to take his mind off of what was waiting for him tomorrow.

"Not just that. But it's difficult to explain. Actually, it's easy to explain, but it's difficult to say." L's ease with saying anything without worry was fading away in the face of his strange and confusing relationship with Light, and his gut desires for them to continue, even at the risk of his own sanity. Watair didn't press, and L was thankful for it. Though Watari wasn't always the most talkative, he was great at listening. It made him a perfect confidante, a wall to bounce his own words off of. Not for the first time, L was glad that Watari was there for him.

* * *

The next day, Watari didn't make it known that he had any idea what was going on. He still treated Light the same as he always had, handing him an ice cream cone along with everyone else and refreshing his tea just as often. L was quite proud of his theatrical talent.

Light stood and walked over to L, whispering in his ear. "Kira killed again last night." L straightened quickly and left his seat for one of the computers in the room. He pulled up the news station's website and found Kira quite easily. The main headline was "Kira returnes with a bang". He quickly read through the article and printed out several copies.

"Kira has killed thirty seven criminals and made sure their bodies would not be found until an hour ago." There were gasps around the room.

Matsuda spoke up. "So he was just making us feel comfortable before striking again?" L doubted that. He sure was making him awfully uncomfortable. "But why make their bodies hard to find?"

"This means that he can control not only the criminal who dies, but everyone around him when he dies. This was unexpected." L bit down on his thumb, but was put off by the plasticy taste of the bandaid still covering it.

"So doesn't this mean that anyone could be under Kira's influence?" This time, Watari actually spoke up. And L knew just why. But it was impossible, right? Kira couldn't . . . His earlier tests with the suicide notes and strange pictures showed that Kira could make them do some things, but the other criminals killed at the same time died normal deaths. That means that something went wrong, and those tests failed. However, L had no idea what those tests were. His mind was reeling.

"I need a moment. Light? I'd like to bounce a few ideas off of you, if you don't mind." Light smiled and complied, following L up the stairs and into L's private suite, not surprised in the least when L locked the door. "To just what extent can you control people?" L wasn't really expecting an answer, but he wanted to ask the question.

"Now, it wouldn't be much fun if I told you that." Light gave a cheeky grin. "But I can assure you, I'm not controlling anything you do. You don't have to believe me, but this game would be awfully boring if I knw how you were going to act at all times. Besides, I can only control people who are going to die and their surroundings. That's how I got rid of Naomi. She'll never be found, by the way. I don't even know exactly where she is." L felt a flare of anger at the mention of his former FBI help.

"So you did kill her. So she went off to some unknown location just to die of a heart attack?" L couldn't quite contain his anger at this revelation. He'd thought she'd just holed herself up because she'd lost her fiance.

"No, she didn't die of a heart attack. She killed herself. I watched her leave." L was too shocked to hide it from his face. "Yes L, I'm not limited to heart attacks. It was that information that got Naomi killed. She knew. The man who'd busjacked the bus that Raye Penbar and I had been riding was under my direct control, and I had him die in an accident. But not after hallucinating and firing every shot he had. She was very smart. That made her a threat."

"I hate you. You're the most dispicable human in this world. No, you're not even human anymore." L bared his teeth in anger, unable to express it in any other way that didn't involve physically harming Light and more than likely getting himself killed. Light advanced on L slowly, taking his chin in his fingers, tilting it up to meet his eyes.

"Do you really believe that? Do you really hate me, L?" His voice was quiet and sweet, sickeningly so. It seemed as though he was trying to sound hurt, but L didn't want to hear it. Light was taunting him again, and L would be damned if he let himself fall for it once more. Light's thumb stroked L's chin, then brought his face closer and covered the detective's lips with his own. The kiss was so soft and gentle that L was unsure that it was actually Kira kissing him. He was embarassed to notice that he'd started kissing Light back at some point.

Light pulled L closer for a moment, deepening the kiss for a few seconds before shoving L roughly backward. L was shocked for a moment, the loss of his equilibrium momentarily stunning him. He was happy to find that the bed broke his fall, but was scared not moments after his fall stopped. This could mean only one thing.

Light was back on him in moments, kissing him deeply and needily, sliding L up the bed surprisingly gently until L's head was resting on a pillow. He slid his tongue into L's unwillingly willing mouth and let his hands roam over L's body, going to lengths they hadn't before. Hearing L tell him that he hated him had made something snap. Light wasn't going to wait any longer.

L's shirt was easy to remove, being as baggy and worn out as it was. Light only broke the kiss a few mere moments to get the fabric over L's head, returning quickly to L's abused lips. Light's shirt had buttons, so pulling away wasn't necessary. Light pressed their chests together, fire erupting from the intimate touch. L didn't think, he only reacted. With every touch of Light's fingers or lips, L was rendered incoherent once again. L was completely at Light's mercy, and he'd never felt more vulnerable. The burning in his abdomin was stronger than before, searing his belly. L was embarassed to see that the situation had aroused him, his needy erection already tenting his loose pants. Light could feel L's reaction, and ground his own excited member against L's,

L felt as though he was going to drown in the barrage of emotions that came at him simply because of that movement. His body was begging to be released from the fabric that kept him from touching Light's flesh. Light was always one to deliver. He undid L's pants and pulled them down, hooking his boxers along with it. Soon, L's pale hips and legs were exposed to the nippy hotel air. Light wasted no time in stripping his own pants and boxers off, throwning them to the floor. He gripped L's length and massaged it slowly. The only things keeping L from calling out was the knowledge that the others may hear if he did, and he didn't want to give Light the pride of having made him do something so crude. Light gracefully placed two fingers in L's mouth, instructing L on what to do. L complied without complaint, knowing that this step was purely for his own benefit, and not something that Light was obligated to do.

Once Light's fingers were sufficiently wet, he removed them from L's mouth and angled them outside of L's anus. It was difficult to get passed the ring of virgin muscles, but once through the initial resistance, the rest was easy. L turned his head to the side, chewing relentlessly on his bandaged thumb. It hurt, and it hurt a lot. Try as he might, he couldn't understand the desire for such an activity. Though he was guilty of wanting it himself, it still wasn't logical.

After a minute, the pain faded and L started to feel pleasure burning up from his abdomin to fill his entire body with a gently warm sensation. Now this was plesant. Until the second finger was added. More pain seared L's vision, but this one dissolved into pleasure a little quicker, since L had since been able to relax a bit more. L refused to make any noises, though, of neither pain nor enjoyment. There was some silly part of his mind that seemed to think that L would win if he held back on the calling out.

When Light's fingers were removed, L was filled with a strange feeling of emptiness, which he decided to take the time to ponder the paradox of. It took his mind off of the fact that what was sure to happen next would hurt like hell and probably draw blood. It did. This time, L had increased difficulty holding down the scream as Light's member, which was significantly larger than his fingers, was thrust into him. Light, at least, had the decency to give L time to adjust. He was being oddly kind for the person who'd wanted L dead . . .

The pain had dulled to throbbing instead of piercing, and Light began to move, pulling himself out until only the head of his member was still buried in L, then shoved back in forcefully. He got the reaction he wanted when L called out at last. Light sped up his pace, spurred on by the sound of pain-strangled pleasure in L's voice, hungry to hear that sound again. His toils were rewarded, as L no longer seemed worried about being heard, or fighting a loosing battle. L didn't last long, spilling his hot seed over Light's toned abdomin. The constricting muscles around Light's member had him coming not long after, finally claiming L as his own.

Light collapsed on L's body, not worried for a moment about his apparent frailness; he knew better. He could hear L's intense heartbeat, smiling at the fact that it seemed strange to him that L should even have one. He seemed so calm all the time, almost doll like on occasion. This erratic heartbeat was calming.

L felt as though his lungs were on fire, and he couldn't get enough air. But it wasn't alltogether unplesant, in fact, it was rather welcomed. As he felt Light laying on his chest, breathing in time with him, L realized one very important thing. He was going to Hell. A tear escaped his closed lids as he muttered three words.

"I love you."

* * *

A/N. Misa's gonna be PISSED. :D

Okay, that's not the end, but it sure feels that way, don't it? I suppose I could just leave it, but I have a specific way I want to end it, and this isn't it. Watari makes an awesome wall. I decided to toy with his relationship to L in this chapter, making them a little more . . . familiar, almost family-like.

This is a long one :|

I'm not going to be able to finish this as quickly as I'd originally thought. . . I've caught a cold, and I've been sleeping most of the past few days . . . Sorry. But this fic is close to finished, so . . . yeah.

Anyway, I have a question for my readers. How do you write? Recently, someone told me how strange my writing style is. See, I've never used pre-writing, and I don't plan anything out. Everything I write is as new to me as it is to the readers. At least, until I get to a certain point in the story that I finally see how everything's going to finish. That's usually close to the end. XD A friend of mine decided to call my style "word vomit style" since I just kinda throw words on the paper. None of my writer friends do this, and my teachers tell me how surprised they are that I do as well as I do without a plan to start with . . .


	4. 4 Justice

Chapter Four: Justice

Sorry this update is so late, school is a pain. I also had a really scary experience recently, so that put this off a bit longer still. Honestly, though, I have no excuse. I kept you all waiting for so long, and I apologize. I hope this chapter was worth the wait, and if it wasn't the by all means, let me know in a review. I can't believe so many of you stayed with this story for so long anyway. I applaude your tenacity. I spelled something wrong just now . . .

And if there are any spelling mistakes, I'm sorry. My OpenOffice doesn't have spell check anymore for some reason, so some things fall through the cracks.

* * *

L woke up cold and confused. _Ugh, why did I fall asleep again? And where are my clothes . . ._ He scratched the mess of hair on his head for a moment before his memories decided to hit him like a brick wall. All of the blood rushed to L's face as he remembered everything that had transpired the night before. He had let Light get the better of him . . . He had said . . . He had said . . .

"_I love you."_ L let himself fall back to the bed, covering his eyes with his arm, his other arm falling to his waist to sit over his belly. L had never thought himself to be easy to control, in fact, he thought he was pretty stubborn. So why had he let Light do what he did? Worse, why did he seem to want it? L loved puzzles, but when they were involved with his own emotions, he got frustrated very easily. He rolled over and curled into a tight ball, pulling the thick comforter over himself. Far from going to sleep, he bit his thumb, which had just healed, and thought. It was a terrifying thing to have someone have complete control over you. And in L's position, it was life threatening. Was that what weakened him? Was his fear of death that overpowering?

No, he wouldn't have confessed love for something so stupid. Going along with the torture was one thing, but acting like he wanted it? Definitely not what he'd had in mind. Maybe he was just going crazy. It was feasable. He was someone who rarely left the safety of his home unless it was absolutely necessary, and he always made sure that the friends he made were those he could not only trust, but who knew to keep their distance. He had never known romance, never wanted to know it. Intimacy was totally foreign to him, and something he didn't really relate to.

Then Light had come into his life. Funny how that sounds. This teen was smart, brilliant actually, and someone that L could instantly be comfortable with. With Light came this strange idea of friendship and trust. As much as L had wanted Light to be Kira, he had equally wanted him to be innocent. The fact that the first friend he had ever made was the very killer he was trying to track down was just too ironic. The idea would have made him lock himself up forever with no plans to ever see the outside world ever again. But yet again, things seemed to have changed. He'd learned that Light was, in fact, Kira, yet he couldn't bring himself to hate him. He wasn't even disappointed, really. A little sad, yes, but that was about it. He had expected it, after all, hadn't he?

_The truth is no less painful if you see it coming._

* * *

Light had left early, not only because he knew that L would probably wake up first if he didn't leave when the detective fell asleep, but also because he just didn't trust himself anymore. His original plan had had nothing to do with sex, it had been purely for companionship. Light had just wanted a friend to be by his side in the end, but he'd gone and taken another step that could ruin everything. Light had never pegged himself to be spontaneous, but something had snapped inside him. It probably wouldn't mess with his plan, just slow it down a little maybe.

But as to just what had snapped . . . now that was a wonder apart. It was something that he had felt tugged at a few times before, usually when working late on the Kira case and talking to L, discussing clues and crime scenes. He wanted to say it was love, but he didn't think he was capable of love anymore. That was far beyond him, and his heart was already tainted with the Death Note and murder. More than likely it was just a sudden posessiveness. He'd never felt that before, since he'd had no one he'd wanted to keep to himself solely before . . . Perhaps this was a turn for the better. He had abandoned the feeling of 'love' for the feeling of posessiveness. What a great God he would make.

_God loves all, but God loves none._

* * *

Tears streamed from Misa's eyes as she slept, dreaming of a world without her beloved Kira, her Light. Her subconsience knew where this plan was headed, though her heart blinded her eyes to it. He just wanted a friend that he could talk to and play tennis with. L and Light were a good pair, much as Misa hated to admit it; they made good friends and a good team. Every guy needed another guy to confide in, right? Misa would still be at Light's side when the day was through. She was there for support and love. L was there for shits and giggles. He was there as a friend, she was there as a lover. Light loved her. Light loved her. He'd never said so, but she knew that he loved her.

She woke, placidly confused at the damp spot on her pillow, and brought her hands up to her eyes. She found tears there, but wasn't alltogether shocked. It had been a horrible nightmare. She looked up at Rem, standing in his normal spot. He was lounging against the wall furthest from her bed, his eyes closed. She knew he wasn't asleep, but he ddin't seem to have noticed that she was awake yet. Misa pulled her knees up to her chest and laid her head on them. "Rem?" Her voice came out a little more whiney than she'd intended, but she ignored it.

"Yes, Misa?" His yellow eyes focused on her and he straightened. "Are you okay?"

"I had a bad dream." Misa rubbed her eyes, spreading her makeup all over her fist. "When do you think Light will call me back? Do you think his plan's worked out by now?" She continued to stare at the wall to her left, fiddling with the lace on her nightgown.

"I don't know. He should have by now. It's rude to keep you waiting like this. Shall I go looking for him?" Rem mentally imagined all the ways he could kill this horrible man.

"I don't want to bother him . . . he'd be mad at me . . ."

"He won't even know I'm there."

"You promise?" Misa's eyes shone with hope and tears.

"I promise."

_Love makes you blind; Devotion makes you mute; Sorrow makes you deaf; Fury makes you stupid. _

* * *

Watari wasn't one to show his emotions. But he was worried. L had seemed calm during their talk, but he could read the fear boiling just below his pale skin. L was rarely out of his depth, but he seemed completely lost at this point. Watari wanted to trust him and let him take care of himself, but at the same time . . . there was something about L's demeanor that made Watari want to take over, if only for now, to protect his friend. L was not a child, but he was virtually helpless.

Since outright assistance would be too obvious and probably unwelcomed on L's part, Watari decided to pour over the security tapes of what rooms cameras were installed in, searching for a clue to what Light could be hanging over L's head. It didn't prove easy, both L and Light being such brilliant young men. Light was a great actor, and L was very manipulative. Watari found himself wishing that Light had proved innocent. He would have done wonders on L's social skills, and the two would make the most amazing detective team in the world.

_Fate never tires of comedy, and irony is her favourite humour._

* * *

Rem flew low to the ground, just above the fifth floor windows on the buildings in the city. It was a long rout to the hotel where Misa's infatuation had been spending far too much time, but she flew fast. His wingbeats increased as the form of the hotel came into view. She flew higher, knowing that the room where the kira investigation took place was on a much higher floor.

The shinigami used her sensitive sight to look through the window at a far distance, making sure that she wasn't visible to anyone looking out. She saw that no one was looking through the glass and risked a closer inspection. Soon, she was within inches of the cold glass, staring in at the investigation. Light was sitting next to his father around a glass table. Their voices were muffled, so Rem poked her ear through the glass, keeping an eye trained on the members in the room, making sure her presence continued to stay unknown. The investigators were talking about something that wasn't much interest to Rem, but she listened anyway, for lack of a better thing to do with her time.

"So, you think that Kira hit a roadblock in his 'life' and stopped killing to pay more attention to his own existance?" Matsuda sounded somewhat convinced, but he was naïve. It would take more to make the other members agree. But L had expected this.

"We have already deduced that Kira is a student, therefore he can't be much older than his early twenties. If that's true, then it's a large possibility that he's a teenager. Teens have a tendancy to become sidetracked when their lives become too hectic. Even the most focused genius would have to take a breather every once in a while. That's the only explanation I can see for his lull in activity." L stirred his tea, dropping in two more sugar cubes for good measure. "If you have any better theories, please, let's hear them."

Everyone was taken aback by this statement, and, as no one did have a better theory, they all nodded their heads and agreed with L. "I do see the logic," Detective Yagami conceded, "but what could have happened that would have made Kira stop, even if he was only a teenager?"

"Anything serious enough; a death in the family, a near death experience, nearly being found out by someone close to him, a sudden involvement of a third party, anything's possible." L purposely gave more examples than were needed. He looked at Light, and Rem didn't miss the meaning behind the glance that lasted a mere few seconds. Oh yes, there was something going on, and this Shinigami was going to find it out. Any reason to get rid of one of them. Misa must be happy.

_Death loves his job; especially when it gathers spoils._

* * *

Ryuk was feeling less and less important as the days went on. Sure, he didn't really see Light as a friend, per se, but he enjoyed the attention nonetheless. He wasn't a Shinigami prone to solitude. Light would usually listen to him, even if he wouldn't reply, but lately, Light didn't even acknowlege his presence. For a while, he almost thought that Light couldn't see him anymore. But Light hadn't given up the Death Note. Ryuk would have known that. Maybe this plan to get L as an ally wasn't the best. It sure wasn't making Ryuk happy. He settled for looking around the room, sometimes listening to what the detectives were saying. But it was all so boring and such a petty farce. Nothing they were discussing was fact, and was all staged by Light and L. Humans could really be stupid.

Then, as his eyes wandered out the window, where many a bored mind tends to send them, he saw an aquaintence that he didn't expect. Rem was staring in, an evil smirk on her face. This would surely be interesting. Maybe this would turn out to Ryuk's favour. He knew that Rem was here in Misa's best interests, so Light was safe from harm's way. At least, physical harm. But L was on the cutting block. Ryuk cackled. Maybe he'd get to play a part. It sounded like loads of fun, and he didn't want to be left out.

He watched as Rem flew away, no doubt towards Misa's home. The Shinigami couldn't help but wonder exactly what was on his fellow Death God's mind. It was sure to be macabre.

_When there are games to play, death will be the first to pitch his bet._

* * *

L stood and stretched. The meeting was over, and he couldn't wait for everyone to leave. He hoped that Light would leave as well, but he wouldn't get off that easily. The teen stayed behind to "go over facts with Ryuuzaki", so L would have to push down his feelings once again. If only the attraction would have stopped when he'd found out that Light was a mindless killer.

But he wasn't mindless. And that mind was what attracted L so. The way his psyche worked, it was magnificent, and his logic was flawless. Light was perfect. Even with the flaw of an evil heart, the young man was still far superior to every other man on earth. L just couldn't get away. And deep down, he didn't want to.

Light didn't approach him for a while, instead letting him walk around the room for a while, fiddling with things, as was a nervous habit. But not too much later, Light's will broke down and he was on his feet, pressing L against the wall. Their lips touched for a moment –

And the window shattered. Alarms went off everywhere, lighting the room in flashing red. Misa stood inside the ruined window, her eyes wide and her eyeliner running down to her chin, following a trail of tears. Those same brown eyes flashed red at the sight before her, and Light knew exactly what was going to happen next. "Light! What are you doing? What has he forced you to do???" Misa's rage only had eyes for L, blinding her to the fact that Light was holding L defenseless against a solid wall. "You bastard! HE'S MINE! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY LIGHT???!!!!" Misa sprinted across the room, throwing her arms around Light's waist and pulling him away. As soon as L's wrists weren't held anymore, he fell to the ground, terrified. Sure, he knew how to protect himself, but Misa had just launched herself through a twenty story window. Something supernatural was at play.

"Don't you dare kill him!" Light shouted in the direction of nothing. L saw only empty space. Where the hell was the security? Surely there was someone just outside, right?

Rem looked at Light bemusedly, though L couldn't see. "You have two choices, human." L could hear a disembodied voice. It was new, and strange. His reaction seemed to shock Light too. He'd never known someone to be able to hear a Shinigami that couldn't see it. "You can let me kill the detective." L shrunk into the corner. "Or you can protect him and I'll kill you both." Misa whirled on Rem, her expression livid.

"You wouldn't kill Light!" Her voice was angry, but pleading.

"You are only suffering because of this vile human. You deserve better, Misa. You have a long life ahead of you. You will find someone better. This human is not fit for you." Rem didn't budge from her standpoint.

Light glanced back at L. His gut instincts were already throwing him in front of his unlikely friend, but his mind was already calculating how he could best turn this into his advantage.

L watched the expressions change on Light's face. It went from shocked, to confused, to torn, to resolute. What could his decision be? Either way, it seemed that L wouldn't make it out alive. No, he was done for.

Suddenly, a smile twisted its way onto Light's lips. "I'll write his name down."

Wait, what? L was very confused at this point. What did he mean, "write"? And why would he be writing down his name anyway? Was it some sort of sick list?

Was this how Kira killed?

_Knowing the way you die makes the experience that much worse._

* * *

A million things were going on in my mind at once. Why was Misa being followed by a voice? Who did the voice belong to? And what was Light writing his name down for? My head was swimming in my thoughts, and I found that, if I died right now, I'd probably be a ghost. Goodness knows I have a ton of unfinished business in my arsenal.

Well, if I was going to die, why not now? When I was in the midst of an investigation? I wad already a legend. My name would live on forever.

My name. That's right. No one knew my name. Well. That was bittersweet. I guess my letter would live on forever. Hah, black humour. Nothing quite like it.

I think I went mad in that moment. I saw Light pull out a black notebook with the letters DEATH NOTE written on the cover. Yeah. That seemed as likely a killing instrument as any mind powers. At least this weapon was tangeable. So I was going to be one of those sad saps that died at the hands of the one they couldn't help but love.

Yeah. I guess I would.

I closed my eyes as he looked at me again. I couldn't bare to watch as he killed me. I couldn't handle the pain that would wrench my heart poth physically and psycologically.

But it never came. Only sweet, sweet relief.

_When you die, it is better to go in your sleep, when you won't notice._

* * *

L's body lay motionless on the ground, his lungs no longer taking in air, his heart no longer beating. Light had let him go on peacefully, happy to let him rest at last. A sadness panged in his heart, but he pressed it down. No one liked to lose a friend. And he just had.

Light stepped away from L's body, leaning against the frame of the window. In a spur of the moment decision, he feigned a misstep.

And fell.

Misa lunged.

She grabbed Light's arm and pulled him back.

And fell to her death down twenty stories.

A death note lay on the ground by the sofa.

_Misa Amane dies saving Light Yagami from a suicide jump._

Next to the fallen Death Note was a pile of ashes.

And a heart shaped earring.


End file.
